


It's A Wonderful Life, After All

by warlockdetective



Category: Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Gen, Guardian Angels, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 18:50:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2319749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warlockdetective/pseuds/warlockdetective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would have happened if Phil hadn't filmed that video on that black and white camera all those years ago?</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's A Wonderful Life, After All

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my head for a while, but I've never really known how to write it. I feel like I should say in advance that I don't really believe all of this would have happened word for word.  
> Also, I've tried to throw in a few "It's A Wonderful Life" references.  
> Be honest.

It was strange, really.  
He found that lately, whenever he looked at the tripod that was placed near the closet in his room, he always had this feeling of dread.  
No, not dread. Something like dread, but along the lines of emptiness, in a way.  
He enjoyed making the videos; he found that doing so tended to lift his spirits somewhat. He enjoyed the radio show; he felt it represented how far he and Dan had come. He loved how he seemed to have a lot of support from making the videos; he liked his fans, had great friends, and had almost overwhelming support from his family.  
But at the same time, he didn't. He really didn't enjoy it. He couldn't believe he thought it, but he felt as if he didn't deserve any of it. And that was what killed him inside. Whenever he saw someone saying how much he deserved what he had, he wanted to just shout from the top of his lungs that no, he didn't. He really didn't. But in the end, he would just smile and thank them. He knew that was what they would've wanted him to say.  
He sighed, laying in his bed in his London flat. He looked out the window, and couldn't help but smile from what he saw: snow. It didn't really snow too often near the end of fall, never mind in the evening. “There must be a blizzard in Manchester,” Phil thought to himself, the smile slowly fading from his face. It was where he lived for a majority of his life. There was never much sun, and there was usually quite a lot of rain and snow. It was also where he filmed his first video, as well as a few others that slowly followed it.  
The first video had been filmed on a camera he had found in a cereal box. The camera filmed in black and white, and it could really only film something in one take. He had decided to post a video he filmed on YouTube just for the hell of it. He didn't really know the consequences of doing so at the time  
He lay back down in his bed, closing his eyes before muttering, “I wish I hadn't filmed that video.”  
“Do you really?” a voice he didn't recognize asked him. He opened his eyes and sat up in his bed, looking over to where he heard the voice. Standing next to his tripod was a rather odd looking man. The man was rather tall, and he was wearing an outfit that almost looked like the one Sherlock Holmes wore. He was an oddly pale man, and he had light orange hair that was almost as curly as Dan’s natural hair. But what Phil found the most odd about him was his eyes; he first thought they were black, but after a moment, he realized they were an incredibly dark shade of brown.  
“Who are you?” he asked, wondering how the man was able to get inside in the first place.  
“I wouldn't be so loud,” the man started, and Phil couldn't help but think that his voice sounded like an odd mixture of PJ and Chris’s voices. “The walls are pretty thin around here, you know.”  
“ _Who are you_?” Phil repeated in a quieter, yet sterner tone.  
The man looked confused for a minute. His face then lit up as he stated, “Ah, right, I forgot we technically haven’t met before.” He cleared his throat before continuing, “I’m your guardian angel, Philip.”  
Phil was rather surprised, of course; he met a man who claimed to be his guardian angel, and he had been called by his full first name. However, there was another thing he thought of when he heard that statement. “Clarence?” he hesitantly inquired, referring to the guardian angel from “It’s A Wonderful Life.”  
“That’s not even close, but I like what you’re getting at,” the man replied, chuckling at the reference. “My name’s actually Leon. It’s got the same amount of syllables as Clarence, but that’s really as close as the names get.”  
Phil couldn't help but grin at the statement. However, the grin faded when he remembered what Leon first said to him. “Why do you want to know why I wished I hadn't filmed that video?” he asked.  
Leon, after a moment, hesitantly replied, “Because I can take you to a world where you didn't.” Phil felt a wave of emotions rush through him; he couldn't tell whether he was relieved or nervous to hear what Leon had told him. However, before he could ask anything about the world, Leon stated, “But Philip, I want you to make a promise to me.” He thought for a moment before proceeding, “I want to show you everything that I feel you’ll need to see before you make your decision, for if you choose that world, you can never come back here. I want you to take into consideration the fact that the other world isn't what you might want in the end.”  
He thought about the statement for a moment. He had just met this man, and he still wasn't sure if he was trustable, yet the tone in his voice when he spoke sounded rather serious. Taking it into consideration, Phil replied, “I promise.”  
Leon smiled softly after hearing that. He then replied, “Remember, this is only going to be a preview. I’ll let you choose whether you want to stay or leave.” He then looked around the room before bringing his attention back to Phil and asking, “Do you think you’re ready?”  
Phil was hesitant. He was excited, of course, for this world was probably going to be different from the world he was currently in. However, he was nervous for the same reason. “I think I’m ready,” he replied.  
It was only a few seconds later that Leon snapped his fingers thrice, and he felt a cold breeze rush between them.  
***  
At first, Phil honestly thought nothing had happened, for it looked as if they were still in his room. However, he then looked around and realized a few things that were different about this version of his room; the only posters that hung were those about weather, the blankets and pillows on his bed were an odd beige color, and he didn't see Lion, who he usually kept on the head of the bed.  
Though he felt a bit strange for doing so, he asked, “Leon, where are we?”  
“We’re in your flat, Philip,” Leon answered. “And yes, it is just your flat.”  
Before Phil could ask about Dan, the door to the room opened. The person who walked in looked, in a way, quite similar to Phil. The only differences were that his hair looked as if it had been slicked back with too much hair gel, his eyes looked somewhat darker, and all he seemed to have were suits instead of plaid shirts.  
“Is that…” Phil started, looking in disbelief at the man who seemed completely oblivious to him and Leon.  
“You?” Leon finished. “Unfortunately, yes. That man is you. Or rather, Mr. Lester.”  
“Mr. Lester?” Phil repeated, confused as to why that was how he was addressed.  
“He doesn't let anyone call him by his first name. Not even his parents can do that,” Leon explained.  
“Why not?” Phil inquired. Sure, he sometimes found it a bit strange when some people called him by his full first name, but he didn't really care in the end. Besides, he felt that if he did, he would've told Leon to stop calling him “Philip.”  
“He feels that it’s unprofessional for someone to call one with a job like his by their first name,” Leon explained.  
They then noticed Mr. Lester leave the room, and when Leon beckoned for Phil to follow him, they followed Mr. Lester outside. As they were doing so, Phil hesitantly inquired, “He can’t see us, can he?”  
Leon shook his head before adding, “No one in this world can see us. No one can hear us, either.”  
Mr. Lester had then hailed a taxi, and Phil and Leon cautiously entered with him. Phil honestly didn't like Mr. Lester. Still, he felt as if there to him than what he had seen. However, he was also confused as to how exactly he and Mr. Lester were the same person.  
However, he was drawn from his thoughts when he heard the cabbie cry, “You haven’t paid yet, y’know!” Mr. Lester, however, didn't seem to mind the statement he had heard, and started to exit the taxi. Phil, who was a bit shocked, cautiously exited the taxi with Leon.  
When Mr. Lester exited the taxi, the cabbie had, as well. “Did you hear me?” the cabbie cried. “You have to pay!”  
“Well, quite frankly, I don’t give a damn if I have to pay or not,” Mr. Lester stated as the cabbie followed him.  
“Believe it or not, this isn't the first time this has happened,” Leon muttered. Phil honestly didn't know what to say. Usually, he’d try to tip the cabbie, but in this world, that didn't seem to be a thing.  
After a moment, the cabbie walked past them, muttering something Phil couldn't quite make out. However, the cabbie wasn't who Phil was paying attention to, but rather, someone else.  
“Please, you have to help me!” a woman cried, trying to get Mr. Lester to pay at least an ounce of attention to her.  
“Why should I care?” Mr. Lester asked. “It’s not my fault your child wandered off.”  
“He’s not the type to just run off, though!” the woman cried, looking as if she was on the brink of tears.  
“If anything, it’s your fault for not paying attention to him,” Mr. Lester stated. “He could be dead, for all I care; he isn't mine.”  
That was what made Phil break. Enraged, he started to walk over to Mr. Lester, only for Leon to grab his arm and hold him back.  
“I honestly wouldn't mind if you punched him, but even if you did, he wouldn't feel it,” Leon stated. “Don’t waste your energy.”  
Phil knew Leon was right. Even though he didn't want to believe him, there was still proof showing that no one around them could see or hear them, so feeling them was simply out of the equation. Phil, still rather angry about what he had seen, sank to his knees, Leon kneeling besides him. “How…how did I even become him?” Phil hesitantly asked after a moment.  
Leon thought for a moment before hesitantly stating, “I’m honestly not sure, Philip.” He then, noticing how Phil was shaking, asked, “Do you want me to take you back?”  
Phil hesitantly shook his head before replying, “That was probably the worst of it. There can’t be anything worse than him.”  
Leon looked as if he wanted to say something, but he stopped himself from doing so. He then snapped his fingers once, and another cold breeze rushed between them.  
***  
At first, Phil wasn't sure where they were, for they were in front of a building he hadn't seen before. He then noticed a poster on the wall that caught his eye:  
 _Chris Kendall presents…_  
 _Animal Impressions_  
 _23 November – 7 December_  
 _6:30 p.m. – 8:00 p.m._  
Phil felt his heart swell with joy once he finished reading the poster, for the one performing was none other than one of his close friends.  
“Do you recognize the name?” Leon asked, smiling at Phil, for he already knew his answer.  
“Of course I do!” Phil cried, smiling. “That’s my friend, Chris!” He then realized they were still in London, and he stated, “I didn't know he performed comedy sketches here.”  
“He performs here because he never made his YouTube account,” Leon stated.  
Phil brought his attention from the poster to Leon before asking, “What do you mean?”  
Realizing what he said, Leon quickly replied, “I’ll tell you in a while. Anyway, do you want to see your friend’s show?”  
Though he was a bit confused on why Leon changed the subject, he nodded, following Leon into the building. When they arrived to the room where Chris was performing his show, he had started to thank the audience for coming. Phil then looked at the audience, and noticed that, much to his surprise, there weren't many people there.  
He and Leon sat in two of the seats in the middle row. “Remember, they can’t see or hear us,” Leon whispered. It was a few seconds after the reminder that Chris began his show.  
Phil felt genuinely happy watching Chris perform, and there were a few reasons as to why. One was that even though he had heard the jokes before in his world, he still found them to be just as amusing as they were when he first heard them. Another was that people in the audience seemed to enjoy the jokes, as well. However, he felt the main reason was because this Chris was, in a way, the Chris he already knew. He wasn't any different from the Chris in his world, and he honestly really liked seeing that, especially after seeing Mr. Lester.  
However, once the show ended and the audience had left, he noticed that Chris looked rather sad. As he and Leon moved from the middle row to the front row, Phil noticed another good friend of his walk up to Chris, commenting, “You were fantastic tonight!”  
“Thanks, Ben,” Chris replied as he started to walk down the stairs of the stage. Phil could see from the look on Chris’s face that he didn't really believe what Ben had told him.  
It seemed that Ben noticed that, as well, for before Chris reached the bottom of the stairs, he stated, “I know the audience probably doesn't seem that big at the moment, but you have to remember that you just moved here about a week ago. This is the first day of the show, too. By the end of this first week, the audience will probably be a lot bigger.”  
“Do you really think so?” Chris asked after a moment.  
Ben nodded before adding, “Don’t sell yourself short, Chris. You’re pretty fucking amazing.”  
Chris couldn't help but smile before replying, “Thanks, Ben,” walking down the rest of the stairs and leaving the room. This time, Phil could tell Chris believed what Ben had said.  
“Ben’s always been a good friend of his,” Phil commented, smiling as he and Leon started to walk out of the room.  
“He certainly seems that way,” Leon responded, smiling in return. He then thought for a moment before asking, “Do you want to see how some of your other friends are doing?”  
“If that’s alright,” Phil replied. He felt that though Chris seemed a bit sad, he was mainly doing pretty good. He thought that they would be somewhat along the same lines as Chris.  
***  
There was something he found odd about where they ended up after Leon snapped his fingers once. He recognized it as the house PJ and his friends lived in during their time at university, but something about it seemed different.  
Actually, there were a few things he noticed that seemed different. One was that it seemed emptier; there was much less furniture than he remembered there being, which made the house seem, in a way, larger. Another was that it seemed quieter; other than the sound of his and Leon’s footsteps, the only thing that could be heard was a ukulele being played.  
“In case you’re wondering, only one person lives here,” Leon stated “I feel you might recognize who it is once you see them. Just listen to your ears, and you’ll find them.”  
Phil followed the sound of the ukulele, Leon slowly following behind him. The sound called them upstairs, the stairs creaking as they went up them. The sound of the ukulele didn't stop, however. “I suppose there’s more than our words that they can’t hear,” Phil thought to himself as he and Leon reached the top of the stairs.  
The sound had taken them to a room not too far away from the stairs, and Phil realized two things once they entered the room. The first was that the song that was being played on the ukulele was a more melancholy version of the Pokécenter theme from the Pokémon games. The second was that the one playing the song was none other than another good friend of his, PJ. But something Phil noticed about PJ was that he looked incredibly sad as he played the song, and he almost looked as if he was trying not to cry.  
“Is he alright?” Phil asked, hesitant to take his eyes off his friend.  
Leon shook his head before replying, “He usually does this when he’s sad. While some nights he finds it rather comforting, other nights it isn't enough.”  
“What do you mean?” Phil inquired. He hadn't seen PJ as sad as he was then, and he honestly hoped he’d never have to again, for he felt he didn't deserve to be that sad. No one he knew did.  
Leon then explained, “There’s no one he can play the music for; his family’s somewhat far away, and he doesn't really have any friends.”  
“But what about…” Phil started, but it was as if Leon already knew what he was going to ask.  
“Jamie, James, Louis, and Sophie?” he finished. “He never met them. Shortly after they graduated, he decided to join the university.”  
Phil brought his attention back to PJ after hearing what Leon had said. He felt that while it was weirdly helpful that they couldn't be seen, heard, or felt, there had been a few incidents where he wished it was the exact opposite. He felt that if that was how it was, he would have punched Mr. Lester as hard as he could, Chris would have heard his laughter, and PJ could see that he wasn't really alone; that there was someone who gave a damn about him.  
And it was when he was wishing all of those things when he remembered someone else, for he hesitantly asked, “How’s Dan?”  
Leon seemed to freeze when he heard that. He then asked in an almost inaudible tone, “Are you really sure you want to see him?”  
Hearing that, of course, made Phil rather nervous. It was the first and only time Leon had asked him about seeing a specific person. “What’s wrong?” he hesitantly inquired.  
Leon, after a moment, admitted, “Philip, there was a reason I wanted you to do this. You wanted to see a world where you hadn't filmed the video on that camera…but even the smallest changes can make all the difference. I’m sure you must have noticed that in some way here.”  
Before Phil could ask Leon what he was trying to get at, he had already answered part of the question in his mind. “I remember I've said how if the whole YouTube thing didn't work out or even exist, I’d want to be a weather man,” Phil recalled. “That’s what Mr. Lester is, isn't it?”  
Leon nodded before adding, “You never filmed the video. Therefore, you went with the second option in mind. However, arrogance seems to be an oddly common thing in that field, and over time, you seemed to pick up on it.”  
“But what about Chris and PJ?” Phil asked.  
Leon thought for a moment before replying, “Philip, I know you don’t like to hear people say this, but it’s true; there are so many people whose lives you've made an impact on. Chris and PJ were two of those people. They met you through YouTube, and, in a way, you inspired to do what they loved. However, here…”  
“…I never met them,” Phil finished. He met Dan almost in the same way he had with Chris and PJ. He had posted quite a few videos, and Dan tended to frequently comment on them. Some time afterwards, they had become good friends online, and it was a while later that they finally met in real life. Since then, they had been incredibly close friends, he felt.  
However, he was drawn from his thoughts when he heard Leon ask, “Philip, have you noticed how I've shown you a pattern?” He then explained, “Mr. Lester was rather successful in this world, Chris was on his way to reaching success, and PJ was in the middle of the spectrum. Dan…”  
Before he could finish his sentence, he snapped his fingers once, and Phil immediately felt uncomfortable about where they were. They were standing in a graveyard that was dark enough to make one barely see where they were going and cold enough for one to see their breath. The graveyard was rather large, though there weren't many graves within it.  
“Leon, why…?” Phil started.  
“Walk straight towards those cottages until I tell you to stop,” Leon almost inaudibly instructed, pointing to a pair of white cottages Phil could barely see. Phil, though he was hesitant to do so, listened, and Leon followed closely behind. He figured they were going to one or both of the cottages. However, after a moment of walking, Leon stated, “Stop here for a minute.” When he did so, he noticed that they had walked about half of the distance to the cottage, and there seemed to be only one grave near him.  
Phil brought his attention to Leon and asked, “Why are we here? Is he in one of the cottages?”  
Leon shakily sighed before explaining, “Philip, I told you earlier how Chris and PJ were two of the people whose lives you impacted. I’m sure you've heard this before, but Dan was another person whose life you left an impact on.” He was silent for a moment before continuing, “You were always there for him during the times he needed someone. But here…”  
“…I never met him,” Phil finished. He suddenly felt a wave of fear rush through him after saying those words. He then hesitantly asked, “Where is he?”  
Leon, after a moment, said two words Phil hadn't expected him to, but once he understood them, he realized that they answered his question: “Look down.”  
Phil looked down at the grave near him, and what he saw confirmed the fears that had formed in his mind after hearing Leon’s answer:  
 _Daniel James Howell_  
 _11 June 1991 – 18 September 2011_  
 _“The one who had a restless wake shall forever have a peaceful sleep.”_  
“No,” Phil whispered. He kept repeating the word, each time being more inaudible and hoarse than the last, yet just as sincere. He fell to his knees, and, in that moment, was rather glad that no one besides Leon could see or hear him as he sobbed, trying as hard as he could not to scream in agony.  
And it was a moment later that he knew full well which world he wanted to stay in. “Take me back,” he whispered almost inaudibly, trying to stop himself from sobbing more than he already had.  
“Phil…” Leon started.  
“ _Take me back_!” he cried, his voice hoarse from his tears. “I don’t want to be here anymore!” He took a shaky breath before explaining, “I’m sorry, it’s just…in all honesty, I was originally just going to try and stay here…I was going to find a way to bring the four of us back together, but I can’t do it without Dan…it wouldn't be the same without him…” He took another breath, this one shakier than the last, before finishing, “…because he’s my best friend. So…please. Just take me back.” He found himself in tears again after he finished his sentence, but he honestly didn't care. He placed his head in his hands and began to weep again.  
He didn't notice that it had started snowing.  
He didn't even hear Leon snap his fingers thrice.  
All he felt was a cold breeze rush by him as he wept.  
***  
“Phil?” he heard a familiar voice ask.  
Hesitantly, Phil looked up to see where the voice was coming from. He suddenly felt a wave of happiness rush through him when he realized two things. The first was that he was in not a graveyard, but his room; his actual room, not Mr. Lester’s. The second was that the person whose voice he heard was that of the one he feared he lost.  
“Dan?” Phil hesitantly inquired as he stood up, trying not to smile like an idiot at the sight of his friend.  
“I thought I heard you crying, so I just wanted to check and see if…” Dan started, but he didn't get to finish his sentence, for Phil suddenly pulled him into, perhaps, one of the most sincere hugs he had ever given, tears of happiness streaming down his cheeks. Dan, though he was rather surprised, hugged Phil in return. He honestly found it rather nice.  
After a moment, Phil pulled away from the hug before admitting, “I’m sorry, it’s just…it’s been a bit of a rough night, and I’m honestly just really happy to see you.”  
“No, it’s fine!” Dan assured him. “It was…quite nice, actually,” he admitted, smiling as he did so. He then asked, “Do you want to tell me about it?”  
Phil thought for a moment. He honestly really wanted to, but he knew full well it would probably take such a long time for him to do so, and he honestly felt rather exhausted. So he then proposed, “Would you mind if I told you in the morning? I’m honestly just really tired, and I don’t even know what time it is.”  
Dan couldn't help but chuckle before replying, “No, that’s fine! You should probably get some rest then. It’s 2:30 in the morning.”  
“Is it really?” Phil cried, causing Dan to laugh at him. Phil then got himself into bed, and Dan started to head towards his room. However, before he closed his eyes and before Dan fully left his room, he hesitantly called, “Dan?” When Dan brought his attention to him, he stated, “Thank you.”  
“For what?” Dan asked in an amused tone.  
“For being here,” was honestly what Phil wanted to say to him, but he decided against it in the end. Instead, he told him, “For letting me hug you.”  
“But of course,” Dan replied, smiling at him before he finally left his room.  
A moment later, Phil looked out the window, and couldn't help but smile when he noticed it was still snowing outside. He found it oddly amusing how he didn't really care for it earlier, yet had suddenly grown to love it.  
However, something he found odd, yet weirdly charming, was that he thought he heard the sound of bells ringing. He wasn't entirely sure where the sound was coming from, but he found it oddly soothing. He then looked over to his tripod, and he couldn't help but notice how he didn't get a feeling of dread from looking at it. Honestly, he really liked that.  
He then noticed how Lion was placed next to his tripod, almost in the same spot he had first seen Leon. In all honestly, before he fell asleep, he thought he saw a pair of wings on Lion’s back. “So that’s where I've seen him before,” Phil thought to himself, smiling as he fell asleep.  
It was strange, really.  
When the night first started, he honestly thought he was missing something; that his life would've been better if he hadn't filmed that video. However, by the end of the night, he realized that his life was, indeed, a rather wonderful one. And honestly, he wouldn't change it for the world.


End file.
